" When his cover is blown, he retreats from curious photographers looking for a story and hides in an already-occupied public telephone booth.I""m not that friendly to anybody." After Eddie arrives and interrupts, he again asks his familiar question of one of the leaders: [In the film, Harry, Slim, and Frenchie are he only ones who correctly answer Eddie""s cryptic question.I shouldn""t be here at all.I don""t feel offended.Katczinsky (joking): It don""t apply to tramps like you.Tjaden: Good.Then I can be going home right away...The Kaiser and me...Me and the Kaiser felt just alike about this war.We didn""t neither of us want any war, so I""m going home.He""s there already.Soldier: Somebody must have wanted it.Maybe it was the English.No, I don""t want to shoot any Englishman.I never saw one ""til I came up here.And I suppose most of them never saw a German ""til hey came up here.No, I""m sure they weren""t asked about it.Another Soldier: Well, it must be doing somebody some good.Tjaden: Not me and the Kaiser.Soldier: I think maybe the Kaiser wanted a war.Tjaden: You leave us out of this.Katczinsky: I don""t see that.The Kaiser""s got everything he needs.Soldier: Well, he never had a war before.Every full-grown Emperor needs one war to make him famous.Why, that""s history.Paul: Yeah, Generals too.They need war.A Third Soldier: And manufacturers.They get rich.One of the soldiers compares war to a "fever": "Nobody wants it in particular.And then all at once, here it is.We didn""t want it.The English didn""t want it.And here we are fighting." Katczinsky explains how wars should really be fought:I""ll tell ya how it should all be done.Whenever here""s a big war comin"" on, you should rope off a big field (and sell tickets).Yeah, and, and, on the big day, you should take all the kings and their cabinets and their generals, put them in he center dressed in their underpants and let ""em fight it out with clubs.The two swindlers travel together from Venice to Paris, where they competitively target the wealthy, female owner (Francis) of a perfume business for their next heist by both becoming her confidante-secretary and assistant secretary/maid.Their miscommunication and suspicious distrust reaches its peak when the two proud individuals mutually object to each other""s stories.