"Planet""seditor Perry White wanted an exclusive scoop on "the story of the century" - "the single most important interview since God talked to Moses.He was to be trained as a skilled gladiator in his training school (ludus) at Capua.When they arrived, the "dirty-looking lot" of slave-trainees were assembled to listen to Batiatus:Here, you will be trained by experts to fight in pairs to the death.After failing to engage the woman in conversation (and when she threatens to summon the manager), he purchases a Chuckles, two candy bars, two Goobers boxes, popcorn, and a Royal Crown cola.When swimsuit-clad young ladies enter laughing and bouncing down a flight of stairs, he apologizes to the two older ladies for having to postpone their wedding for a few days (or years) and then leaves to sow a few wild oats with the troupe of younger chorus girls.